Kel Kelly

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Governor Sanford: Shut Your Trap Dude

July 2, 2009 8:58 AM

On June 24, 2009, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford held a press conference where he admitted that he had been unfaithful to his wife. The problem is that he hasn’t stopped talking about it since. Seriously, the dude has brought the term TMI (too much information) to a whole new level. When I see the clips from his interviews, I find myself squirming in the same way people squirm at the thought of their parents having sex. Yesterday, the Today Show ran a segment of a Sanford interview that was so awkward and uncomfortable that the only thing that I could think was “shut your trap dude!”

The guy had an affair. It’s unfortunate, but it happens. I don’t condone it because many people get hurt from affairs. However, Sanford isn’t the first politician to find himself in this situation. I think the right thing for a political figure to do when holding a press conference in this type of crisis pr situation is to confess, take responsibility, apologize to the people who have been hurt and stop talking. We should have known Sanford wasn’t going to stick to this playbook when it took him six minutes and four seconds to actually utter the words “I have been unfaithful to my wife.” From there and for the past seven days, the Sanford shitshow has gone on and on and on and on and on.

The following are a few of the over-sharing quotes that have come out of Sanford’s mouth in the past week:

  • “I was frightened and I was scared, and I knew the consequences. This was a whole lot more than a simple affair. This was a love story. A forbidden one, a tragic one, but a love story at the end of the day.”
  • “I will be able to die knowing that I had met my soul mate. But it was one of those things, I knew the cost.”
  • “I don’t want to blow up my time in politics. I don’t want to blow up future earning power, I don’t want to blow up the kids’ lives. I don’t want to blow up 20 years that we’ve invested. But if I’m completely honest, there are still feelings in the way. If we keep pushing it this way, we get those to die off, but they’re still there and they’re still real.”
  • “It’s about incredibly deep conflicts, between one’s heart and one’s value system, and an 8 1/2 year wrestling match on that front.”
  • “I remember there was an older couple sitting to our right, and I remember them watching us, in the way that we interacted. They could see a spark, or, I don’t know what you’d call it, but there was something there.”
  • “No, she knew I was coming. Didn’t believe I was coming, but I got down on one knee and said I am here in the hope that we can prove this whole thing to be a mirage.”
  • “…well what’s different between left brain and right brain, is what it is. One was about these different concrete things I’ve been working on. And the other, the other is tied to (long pause) the pursuit of happiness. Whatever that is.”
  • “Everyone of us is going to be at that death bed one day and we’re going to look back over the whole of our lives and we’re going to ask, you know, was or what we’re willing to risk certain things that may be viewed as a stupid trade-off by the rest of the world but that’s for each person to determine. And so if you end up 50 years here on earth and you know, alright, maybe I get another 30 and if you come into connection with a soul that touches yours in a way that no one’s ever has, even if it’s a place you can’t go, this notion of knowing that you know, for me, became very important.”
  • “What I would say is that I’ve never had sex with another woman. Have I done stupid? I have. You know you meet someone. You dance with them. You go to a place where you probably shouldn’t have gone … If you’re a married guy at the end of the day you shouldn’t be dancing with somebody else. So anyway without wandering into that field we’ll just say that I let my guard down in all senses of the word without ever crossing the line that I crossed with this situation.”

Dude! Please spare us all the drippy details. Ick. Those are best left for a book after your wife kicks your sorry ass from here to Argentina. When Michael Jackson passed away a day after you admitted the affair, the Universe gave you the biggest gift. Everyone was going to be consumed with that news. All you had to do was shut your mouth and keep it shut and the story would fade. Remember US Representative Gary Condit? That guy had the media up his butt over the disappearance of Chandra Levy. It was a media firestorm for six painfully long months and Condit couldn’t escape it. Then September 11th happened and the story instantly died because the media became consumed with 911. A combination of Michael Jackson’s death and a shut trap would have had similar results with you, but nooooooooo….you had to make sure everyone knew that you had a soul-mate and that old people saw a spark. Dude!

Human beings have an amazing capacity to forgive. Think Michael Jackson, Martha Stewart, and Bill Clinton. However, forgiveness will never happen if you keep the story alive through your own spoken words. It’s time to zip it…and I’m not just talking about your fly.

What are your thoughts on Sanford’s ramblings?

Posted by Kel | in Uncategorized | 11 Comments »

11 Comments on “Governor Sanford: Shut Your Trap Dude”

  1. Tara Says:

    I agree that he should wrap it up and use more discretion. A lot of what he is sharing should be for those who have been personally affected by his actions. What I do find interesting in all of this, is that this is one of the first public acknowledgements I can remember that support the mistress and legitimizes the relationship as being meaningful. Most announcements have everyone scattering and abandoning the other party and latching on to a spouses who typically have known about the infidelity and have chosen to accept it. I might not make many friends by saying this but I think he should be held more accountable for holding a public office and leaving his state responsibilities without clear instructions on his whereabouts. He put his staff in a compromising position and abandoned his civil commitment for personal reasons. He should focus his apology on that and moon walk out of the spotlight ASAP.

  2. Kel Says:

    tara, i totally agree that he is legitimizing the relationship through his comments. honestly, it sounds like he is in love with the woman. if i were his wife, i’m not sure i could ever get beyond the comments knowing his true feelings. again, my point is save all those quotes for a book. it is inappropriate and disrespectful to his family to share these feelings at a press conference or through subsequent media interviews that will result in broad reaching exposure and embarrassment to all involved.

  3. Graham Says:

    To be honest I’ve kept away from the story and chalked it up as another politician messing around on his wife. But when you point out the fact that Michael Jackson, arguably one of the most popular persons on the planet, dies…that’s like giving you a free pass to exit stage left out of the limelight. It seems like this guy is obsessed with trying to convince everyone that he is a good guy or that he’s the first guy to be in love. Listen, we didn’t know you from the get-go, so you don’t have to convince me of anything. And you don’t need to tell me what love feels like either because I know about that too. Like you said,’just keep your trap shut!!’ As always, great post.

  4. Kel Says:

    thanks graham. you bring up an interesting point in that so many politicians have been in this situation before that you don’t even pay much attention anymore. a sad but very true point.

  5. Jon Bornstein Says:

    He argued that he wanted to stay on as governor. OK – when the story broke, maybe. But the guy wouldn’t shut up. Of course what’s going to happen as a result? The story builds and builds – now there’s no way in hell he has a political life left. Good think he has a new soul mate.

  6. Kel Says:

    jon, your last line made me laugh out loud! thanks for that.

  7. Cynthia Says:

    I totally agree. The media is all too consumed with this stuff. From Bill Clinton and the cigar to this, enough already. George Bush lied about WMD and it seems like people cared less about that than someone cheating on their wife (I mean, Bush wasn’t impeached). People are still dying in Iraq, there is a coup in Honduras and a crazy man with nuclear weapons in North Korea and this guy and his drippy love stories tops the news? Its infuriating!

  8. Kel Says:

    cynthia, i share your frustration 100%. the list of more important issues is endless. keep yelling from the mountain top. i believe it helps!

  9. Brennan Says:

    I agree, if he would have just kept his mouth shut once Michael Jackson’s death happened then the press would have forgot about it for the most part. I think Sanford’s problem is that he wants to be in the news as it feeds his ego even if it’s negative.

  10. Kel Says:

    brennan, that’s an interesting perspective. i actually never thought that his ramblings were used as a means to keep him in front of the camera. my assumption was that he was just stupid when it came to damage control. your insight makes me think twice. thank for posting a comment!

  11. Kel Kelly Blog - From Tiger To Pussy Says:

    [...] what you want about Mark Sanford’s ramblings about finding his soul mate or John Edwards’ unthinkable act of cheating on his terminally ill wife. At least when their [...]

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